A Christmas Theory
by DivineInspiration
Summary: When the Cullens move to Forks, they create quite the stir. They are also mysteriously different, and who better to figure out the mystery than the police chief's daughter? Canon with a big, Christmassy twist. Warning: Silliness ahead.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight, I just claim the way I have strung my words together. I also do not own Christmas. I just celebrate it and try to make it fun.

**A/N: **Thanks to **Dinx** for beta'ing, hand-holding, and the inspirational pictures. Thanks to **nowforruin** for beta'ing and responding to the great Title SOS of 2010. Thanks to **Scorp112** for pre-reading parts of this, making suggestions, and calming my nerves when they were the most frazzled. And thanks to **shelikesthesound **for helping me with the title. You ladies are better than Christmas. :)

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**A Christmas Theory**

**Part I**

The entire population of Forks – all four thousand one hundred and seventy-six souls – had been wondering about the Cullen family ever since the day they'd rolled into town with their two large moving vans and bright, cheery smiles. No one in Forks ever wore bright, cheery smiles. Suspicion rose immediately.

As the police chief's daughter, I was expected to go and greet new-comers. It was something my dad had expected of my mom, and when she left town to become a card dealer in Las Vegas, the task had fallen to me. Thankfully, it wasn't often that anyone moved to Forks. In fact, why anyone would want to was a question I still hadn't found the answer to. I was almost halfway through my senior year in high school, so if I was expected to learn before I left for greener college pastures, my teachers should have considered getting a move on. It was bound to be a complex and time demanding subject.

The Saturday after the Cullens arrived in Forks, I made a batch of brownies and loaded them up in my trusty, old truck that had been left behind as a parting gift from my mom. That, or she just didn't think it would carry her all the way to Nevada.

The truck's radio didn't work, so I sang along to my _Sunny & Cheery_ playlist on my iPod on the way to the Cullens' house. I wasn't quite sure where I was going. They had bought the old Simmons house, and all I knew about its location was that it was somewhere in the forest outside of town. The vague directions my dad had given me before going to work that morning were not going to be the help I had hoped they would.

"Just turn after the old red oak, and when the lane splits, keep right. Well, or left. Hell if I remember. You'll know it when you see it, Bells," he'd assured me while hurrying out the door, late as usual.

My problem was that there was more than one red oak, and there were many small lanes – most of them probably made and used by lumberjacks. I tried one, but it just ended after about a quarter of a mile. So did the next one I tried. Finally, after driving back and forth seven times, I spotted a very well-hidden mail box next to one of the lanes. Lumberjacks didn't get mail at work.

I made a U-turn, happy that there were barely any cars on the road, and turned down the narrow lane. It seemed to go on forever, and when there was a split in the road, I was lost again. My dad's directions were still not doing me any good. I was half way through _eeny, meeny, miny, moe_ when I caught sight of movement between the trees to my right. My eyes widened, and then narrowed.

Was that…?

I leaned closer to the window to get a better look. Either I was hallucinating, or a reindeer was standing a few yards away, looking right at me. I was pretty sure that I had not ingested any kind of mushroom or other thing that could make me hallucinate. On the other hand, I was also certain that there wasn't supposed to be reindeer in Washington, except maybe in a zoo somewhere. And there weren't any zoos around there.

The animal – hallucination or not – came out of the trees in front of my truck. It looked at me for a moment before taking off down the lane to the left. I didn't even worry about getting lost as I drove after it. I had to find out if my eyes or brain were somehow playing tricks on me, or if I was actually seeing a reindeer.

The lane kept turning slightly. I didn't dare drive very fast, so I only got glimpses of what I really hoped was a reindeer. If it wasn't, I was chasing hallucinations in the forest, and that was actually harder for my mind to process than the whole reindeer thing. I went around another turn, and the sight that met me made forget all about keeping my foot on the clutch. The truck spluttered, jerked, and died.

I just stared.

The first thought that hit me was that Clark Griswold was an amateur. The second was that it was October, so why was this big house in the middle of the forest decorated like it was Christmas? Or rather, decorated like it was Christmas a million times over? And since there were no other houses out here that I knew of, with the exception of the one the Cullen family. I was also at a loss for how they would have had the time to do this in the short time they had been in town. Who started decorating the outside with Christmas lights _in October_ instead of unpacking the moving boxes inside? There were already crazy rumors flying around about the Cullens in town. This was definitely not going to help. It was unlikely that I was the only one stopping by to welcome them with something edible, so in a few days the town would be buzzing – as much as Forks ever buzzed, anyway.

I suddenly remembered the reindeer and looked around for it. It certainly fit in here in the Land of Christmas, but I couldn't see it anywhere. Starting the truck again, I moved away from the lane so I wasn't blocking it. I picked up the brownies and walked up to the porch while wishing that it wasn't the middle of the day. As out of place as this light display was, it was bound to look spectacular when it was dark.

When I was half-way up the porch stairs, the front door, decorated with a large wreath of boxwood tied with shiny, red ribbon, swung open. A young girl with bright eyes and a big smile waved at me. "Hello!"

"Hi," I said, smiling hesitantly.

When I came closer, it became clear that she wasn't as young as I had estimated her to be. She just wasn't very tall, unable to claim even five feet no matter how much she stood on her toes. Also, what she wore tipped me off that she was at least my age. Her dress was short, green, and looked like it was made of velvet. It hugged her body tightly, and striped, brightly colored knee-high socks covered her legs. It was not a combination I had ever seen before. Her dark hair was in a braid, and it swung over her shoulder as she bounced in the doorway.

"This is so exciting!" she squealed. "Hi, I'm D- um, Alice! You're our first guest!"

I kept a hold of the brownies with one hand and offered her the other. This girl sure was excitable. "I'm Bella. Welcome to Forks. My dad is the chief of police, so I'm the official welcoming party, though there will likely be some unofficial ones, too."

She grabbed my hand and shook it with all her might. Her hand was ice cold, and I couldn't help but wonder if they had been so busy decorating the house outside that they hadn't even turned on the heat inside.

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella! Come on inside, Mrs.- um, my mom would love to meet you, I'm sure!" Alice said excitedly, dragging me inside. She was surprisingly strong and barely gave me time to toe off my boots inside the door. I handed her the brownies, hoping to slow her down for a second. Even her speech was so hurried that she stumbled over her words.

"I hope you guys like brownies. I made them this morning," I said.

She hugged them to her chest and smiled widely. "I love brownies and so does S- um, my dad. Thank you, Bella."

She showed me around the house, talking the whole time. Occasionally she would ask me a question about the town, the school, or myself, and I suspected it was more because she needed to breathe than actually needing my input. I did my best to listen while I took in the house. There was no way they could have fixed it up so thoroughly since arriving in town. They had to have had done most of the work before moving in. I remembered old Mr. Simmons, and I knew for certain that he hadn't had his house decorated like this. It was very, very white. And…well, that was actually all there was to say about it.

Mrs. Cullen was in the kitchen, humming what sounded like _Jingle Bells_ and kneading dough as if her life depended on it. She looked much younger than I had expected, and not at all like someone who had teenage kids.

"_Mom_, this is Bella," Alice introduced me, for some reason enunciating _mom_. Weird. "She brought brownies to welcome us to town."

"Hello, dear," Mrs. Cullen greeted me, pausing the kneading and sending me a smile. "That's so sweet of you, coming all the way out here."

Mrs. Cullen served us hot cocoa, and Alice chattered excitedly on and on…and on. She didn't even drink her cocoa. Half of what she said went in one ear and right out of the other. I did learn that she was excited to start school, that she had a brother, and that she really wanted to go to the school dance just before Christmas.

She questioned me about the people at school, and I saw no reason to lie. There were three decent people – including the teachers – and the rest I preferred in small doses. Rosalie Hale had been my best friend since we were toddlers. Angela Weber had moved here in the third grade, and it hadn't taken long for Rosalie and me to take her under our wing because she was getting picked on for wearing glasses. Kids were cruel. And finally there was Jasper Whitlock, another stray we had taken in. During the eighth grade he had suddenly discovered that science was more interesting than football, thus making his popularity drop significantly. About a month ago Angela had started dating Ben Cheney, and he had semi-joined our little group, but I was still wary of him. He used to be one of the idiots picking on Jasper, and I wasn't sold on his sudden personality change.

I spent most of the afternoon at the Cullens'. Listening to Alice talk made me a little out of breath, but she and Mrs. Cullen were, without a shadow of doubt, the two most happy and positive people I had ever met. It made me happy just to be around them. I didn't meet Mr. Cullen or Alice's brother. Apparently they were out hiking.

"So, how did it go at the Cullens'?" my dad asked over dinner. He'd come home late because of a fender-bender down in front of the grocery store. I imagined he wouldn't come home at all if anything serious actually happened in Forks.

"Good," I replied. "I brought them brownies. They have a girl around my age who seems very nice. I also met Mrs. Cullen."

"Carlisle Cullen bought the old burger place on Main Street. Jimmy down at the station says he's opening up a toy store or something. No wait, toy repair shop, I think it was," my dad said, attacking his steak with such eagerness that I knew he had skipped lunch again. "I'll give it three months. Then he'll be closing down shop again."

"Repairing toys? Doesn't he know we live in 2010? If something is broken, people just throw it away. They don't pay to have it repaired," I wondered out loud, absentmindedly stabbing a potato on my plate.

"That's what I said. Harry was out installing a phone line the other day, and he said that they were decorating the house for Christmas. Is that right?"

"Um, yeah. And then some. I've never seen a house with that many lights on it. The trees around the house are covered in lights, too. It looks like Christmas threw up out there."

"They sure are a funny bunch," my dad commented.

I nodded. Funny was right. I had never met anyone like Alice. She was sweet, and so was Mrs. Cullen, but something seemed off about them.

Alice and her brother started school the following Monday. The whole school was abuzz with whispers and rumors – as predicted I wasn't the only one who had gone out to welcome the Cullen family to Forks.

"Did you hear that the Cullens moved here because their kids got into all kinds of trouble back where they lived before?" Mike Newton, son of Forks' busiest gossiper asked me while I was putting books in my locker. I had done something awful in a past life to deserve the locker next to Mike's, and I really wished I knew what it was because it had to have been epic.

I glared at him. He knew exactly how I felt about gossip. His groin had suffered my knee back when he'd decided to spread rumors about the "real" reason my mom had left town.

"No, no. This is true. My mom heard it from one of the store's suppliers, and he knew becau-"

"I'm not interested, Mike," I interrupted him.

"Is the moron still trying to ask you out?" Rosalie asked, coming up behind us. She was not the least bit bothered by the fact that Mike was still standing there. She knew ignoring him was one of the few ways to shut him up.

"No, today he's just gossiping," I replied, dragging her away from Mike.

"The boy needs a life," she commented and glared at him. She was a fierce protector of everything and everyone she loved. I was glad I was included, although most of the time her focus was on animal rights. It was her big passion, and she often cornered unsuspecting people and lectured them on the subject. It was usually boys who stared too long at her breasts, but Rose mistook their staring for interest in the PETA t-shirts she always wore. If she thought about animal rights, why would anyone else be thinking about her breasts? I loved my naïve best friend.

"Hey, I saw the Cullen girl out in the parking lot. She was wearing a _dress_," Rose told me while we walked to our first class.

I giggled. Of course she was. I wondered if it was as short as the one I had seen her in, and if she was wearing knee-high socks, too. Wearing a dress to school in Forks was unusual to say the least. The standard uniform was jeans, t-shirt, and often a flannel shirt. If paired with boots and a rain coat, you were good to go. The last time I had seen someone in a dress at school was when the Stanley house had burned down, and Jessica'd had to wear donated clothes for a while. Apparently no one had any spare jeans or t-shirts.

"Is she nice?" Rose asked. "The Cullen girl, I mean. You met her, right?"

I never had the chance to reply before I was slammed into the wall with my airway nearly cut off.

"Bella!"

Alice.

How in the world could someone that small be that strong? I winced as Rose steadied me. I was going to have bruises on my back tomorrow. "Hello Alice," I rasped.

"It's not polite to choke your new friends, Alice," an unknown voice said. Alice's grip around my neck loosened immediately, and I gratefully took a deep breath. I was going to need to start carrying an oxygen mask in my book bag if this was how she always said hello to people she knew.

"I want you to meet my brother," Alice said when she was no longer holding me in a death grip. She turned to Rose. "And you must be Rose. Bella told me about you, and I've been looking forward to meeting you ever since!"

While she treated Rose to one of her vigorous handshakes, I looked up fully to see if there was a face to go with the deep, smooth voice that had saved me from severe oxygen deprivation. And just like in the trashy romance novels I ended up reading every summer because I ran out of decent books, the time stopped. The noise around me faded into silence, and the only thing I could hear was my own breathing.

Nothing could have prepared me for the first time I saw Alice's brother. He was gorgeous to the nth degree. I looked him over, in awe of his defined jaw and cheekbones, pale but perfect complexion that would've died to for, compelling green eyes that were looking straight at me, his tousled auburn hair, and lips so inviting that-

"Hi. You make killer brownies," he said, interrupting my ogling.

I blushed. Killer brownies? Oh, right. Brownies. As in the sweet treats I had welcomed his family to town with. It was a strange greeting, though. He winked at me, which did nothing to make me more coherent. I mumbled out what I hoped was "hi" and "thanks" before the bell rang and we all were forced to head in different direction for our respective classes.

_Great_. I mentally slapped my forehead. A hot guy finally appeared in Forks, and I made a fool of myself the first time I met him. The school needed to make "Make a Good First Impression 101" a mandatory class for hopeless cases like me.

Had it not been for Rose, I would have never made it to class in time. Not that it would have made a big difference if I had stayed away. I never heard a word as Mr. Stephens tried to teach us about the Civil War.

"What is wrong with you?" Rose asked me after class. "You're not seriously crushing on Alice's brother, are you? What's his name again…Edwin?"

"Edward," I muttered. "And no, I'm not. But Rose…did you look at him? Honestly, have you ever seen anyone as gorgeous as Edward Cullen?"

She looked at me, confusion on her face. "He is? Huh. I didn't notice." She rummaged through her book bag. "You know, I was thinking of recruiting him and Alice for PETA. They live in the forest, so they'd be interested in animal rights, right? It's an obvious assumption, don't you think?"

I gaped. "Um…sure? I don't know, Rose. No harm in asking, I guess." Rose and I had always been alike in not being interested in the poor selection of boys Forks had to offer. Edward Cullen seemed to have changed things for me, even if I'd only seen him once. Not so much for Rose apparently.

I arrived a little late for lunch, having been lost in thought by my locker for a while. The table I usually sat at with Rose, Jasper, Angela, and – as of recently – Ben, had two new occupants. Angela and Ben were in their own little world as usual, sharing deep, meaningful looks. Alice and Jasper were doing almost the same thing, which was a little disturbing considering I didn't even know they had met. I was embarrassingly relieved that Rose and Edward were just talking normally. Well, as normal as Rose gesturing wildly with her arms, and Edward listening while breaking a sandwich into little pieces was.

"Hey, guys," I greeted them and sat down in one of two empty seats. It was between Edward and Jasper, and I took it mostly to avoid sitting next to Ben.

Rose was on a roll, showing Edward PETA pamphlets and pulling out every argument she could think of to get him to join. She loved fresh meat. Edward listened politely, but it was obvious to everyone _but_ Rose that he wasn't that interested. I would have to make sure he knew never to stare at her breasts, as that would just earn him the whole speech one more time.

Mike stopped by our table, sitting down on the edge of it and smiling at Alice in a way I'm sure he meant to be flirting. Unfortunately, it only made him look constipated. "Hi, I'm Mike."

She looked at him wide-eyed, as if trying to figure out what he was up to. "Hello. I'm D- um, Alice, and you're sitting on my fries."

He shot up and started smearing the ketchup further into his jeans than it already was. The whole table was openly laughing at him, and the tips of his ears were turning red. When he was finally done making a complete mess of himself, he looked at Alice again. "So, um, how about you and me go out on Friday? I'll show you Port Angeles – I promise that you won't find a better tour guide than me." He tried to wink, but failed, making Jasper laugh again and nearly choke on his soda.

Alice put all her energy into slapping Jasper's back while mustering a fake smile for Mike. "I'll tell you what. How about I put mistletoe in my back pocket, and you kiss my ass instead? I promise you won't find a better ass than mine."

Jasper was turning blue from choking, laughing, and all but getting beaten up at the same time while half the cafeteria was laughing, as Alice hadn't exactly been quiet. I didn't know how to stop giggling long enough to make sure that he was actually breathing, especially not when Mike stalked off with ketchup all over his ass.

Not much was said for the remainder of the lunch hour. Every time we looked at each other, we started laughing again, and even when we left for class, we were still snickering. I was also thoroughly distracted by Edward's laughter. It was a sound that resonated from deep within his belly, and it was the most infectious thing I'd ever heard. As everything else about it him, it had me transfixed.

My next class was biology, and so, I discovered, was Edward's. We walked next to each other down the hallway, our hands briefly touching when it got crowded and we had to walk closer to each other. His hand was cold, but managed to heat me up thoroughly. I glanced up at him each time to find him looking down at me, winking or smiling crookedly.

Yes, it was official. Edward Cullen had the ability to make me melt.

As the days and weeks passed, it became quite clear that I was indeed crushing on the new boy in town. Badly. Luckily, I still managed to teach myself how to form coherent sentences around him so that I could actually talk with him. All he had to do was smile and I'd melt completely, but I was still counting it as a success.

I spent a lot of time with Alice when she wasn't busy sneaking off with Jasper. I had stopped counting how many times a day they would be caught with their clothes out of order, out of breath, and with part-guilty, part-goofy smiles on their faces. The janitor had even started locking the doors to the broom closet and the supply room.

One day, in a weak moment, I confessed to Rosalie that I thought I had seen a reindeer the day I had gone to greet the Cullens.

"A reindeer? Bella, why didn't you tell me sooner? A reindeer in these parts is obviously out of its element. It might be sick or something. I need you to tell me exactly where you saw it. I'll go out and look for it first thing tomorrow morning," she said.

"Why?" I had to know.

"I just told you! I don't know if it got lost or if it escaped from somewhere, but it might need help. Poor dear, all alone out there with no idea how to get home," she said with a sigh.

"I'm not actually sure it _was _a reindeer…"

"But it might have been. That's good enough for me," she stated. She got a faraway look in her eyes, and I knew in her mind she was already out looking for Rudolf. I just hoped she wasn't planning tobring it home if she found it. She was fond of taking in strays, and the last time hadn't worked out so well. She was not allowed to bring animals into the house anymore.

The morning of December first had me slightly freaked out. My dad had cooked breakfast – at least that was what he called the burnt toast and the tar-like coffee that had been waiting on the table when I came downstairs. Charlie Swan never cooked. He had also been humming what I was pretty sure was "Silver Bells" while he tried to solve the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Charlie Swan never hummed. And he certainly never did crossword puzzles. I asked him if he was feeling okay, and he claimed that he had never been better. I suspected Alzheimer's. That's when he told me that he hadn't really been working last night. He had been on a date.

I didn't stick around long enough to find out who he had been on the date with. It wasn't the fact that he was obviously seeing someone that had me freaked out – he was a grown man, he could do whatever he wanted. It was the humming thing that made me a little nauseous. Of course, it would have been worse if he had been whistling!

I arrived at school early. At some point since school had let out yesterday, the Christmas tree Mike Newton's parents sponsored every year had been put up. Each year it was bigger than the year before, and this year it dwarfed the school completely. It looked ridiculous.

"I chopped it down myself," Mike boasted when I joined him and a few others standing around looking at the guys putting on the lights.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure you did." Mike Newton couldn't lift a third of his own weight, let alone handle a tree that was taller than most of the buildings in town.

He blushed a little, but stubbornly tried to convince the others that he wasn't lying. He luckily followed them when they left. It was dry out today, and since I had arrived early, I was in no real hurry to go inside. I pulled out my iPod and found my newly crated Christmas playlist. It wasn't too early to try and get into the spirit.

I watched the guys putting the lights on the tree fumble while listening to "Santa Baby." If I didn't get too much homework, I was going to get the decorations out tonight. I usually put them up myself, except for the lights outside. I hoped my dad wasn't too busy with his new dating life to do it soon.

I scrolled through my playlist. God only knew why I had included "Last Christmas." A shadow caused me to look up, and my eyes met Edward's, who was standing on the opposite side of the big tree by the front entrance. I instinctively smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. Despite the distance, I could see terror on his face, and he started waving his arms. I frowned. What was he doing? He wasn't the only one waving his arms, but the increasing shadow distracted me from further pondering why.

When I looked up, I saw a very wobbly Christmas tree. The men who had been putting on the lights were trying to stop it from falling, but it was too large for them to handle. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The fact that the tree was coming closer and closer made it obvious that it was going to fall in my direction. That was all I had time to register before I was yanked roughly out of the way.

The breath was knocked out of me when I hit the ground, but the back of my head was saved from meeting it with enough force to crack it open. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I wasn't about to be crushed to a pulp under the biggest Christmas tree Forks had ever seen. It was then I realized that something heavy was already lying on top of me, preventing me from catching my breath.

"You're okay," a familiar voice whispered in my ear. "I've got you."

I opened my eyes wide and tried to sit up, managing to bump my forehead with Edward's. He chuckled and steadied me as dizziness made my vision blurry for a moment.

"Easy. I'd really prefer if you didn't pass out on me," he said. "Are you hurt?"

"Um…no?"

"I need an answer, Bella, not a question. Does it hurt anywhere?" Cold fingers prodded the back of my head, and I shivered. Not because they were cold, but because that's what he did to me.

"Oh my God, Bella! Are you okay?"

"Shit, the tree almost hit you!"

"You're lucky to be alive, Bella."

All the voices of the people gathering around us blended together as I looked into Edward's eyes. I wasn't sure I could form a coherent sentence even if I'd tried, and I also didn't know if I was hurt or not. I didn't think so, but I couldn't really feel anything except confusion.

"How did you…?" I asked softly. "I mean, you were all the wa-"

"Please, Bella," he begged me, his eyes trying to tell me something other than his words. "You need to tell me if you're hurt."

"I…I'm not," I replied breathlessly, searching his face. "Thank you for pulling me out of the way." The tree had fallen right where I had been standing. Looking at it, and thinking about could have happened, made me a little nauseous.

Edward pulled me onto my feet, and I dusted myself off the best I could while the people around me fussed. No, I did not need to go to the ER no matter how many times they asked.

"I'm fine, I promise!" I said loudly to them. "Thank you. Just…give me a moment to breathe."

There was still a little time before class. I pulled Edward aside while everyone's attention shifted from me to the rather pathetic attempt at getting the tree to stand again.

"I should take you to the ER so you can get checked over. You hit the ground pretty hard. I'm sorry," Edward said, continuing to nag.

"I'm fine. Really. I just…how did you get to me in time? The tree was falling, and you were all the way over by the front entrance… I don't understand."

He shook his head. "I wasn't by the front entrance, Bella. I think you might have hit your head. Let's get you to the ER."

"I did not hit my head, Edward. You made sure my head didn't even touch the ground after you _somehow_ got from the front entrance to where I was standing in less than two seconds. I saw you!" I was trying not to yell, but it was difficult because I knew I was right – I just didn't understand how I could be.

"Oh my God! Bella! Mike told us what happened!" Alice came running, dragging Jasper behind her like a puppy on a leash. He looked particularly rumpled today. But then, so did Alice. She stopped abruptly, making Jasper bump into her. "But you don't have a gushing head wound," she said. "Oh, thank God."

"Mike said that?" I asked.

She nodded vigorously. "He also said that you might have a broken arm, and that he had personally made sure that the tree didn't fall on you. He said he directed the guys who were working on it to pull it the other way or something."

Edward snorted. "I'm surprised he had time for that while he was so busy screaming bloody murder. That guy is much too interested in getting attention. There's nothing good in him."

"Yeah, I think we heard that, actually," Alice replied before looking back at me. "So nothing happened to you?"

"Edward yanked me out of the way when the tree fell, although I don't understand how. He was all the way over by the front entrance-"

"I was not by the front entrance," Edward interrupted me with a strained smile. "I was right next to Bella. I think she's a little bit in shock at the moment."

Alice eyed us carefully and nodded distractedly. "So, um…Edward, can I talk to you for a moment?"

He nodded, and they went ahead into the school building. Jasper looked at me, concerned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. I just had the wind knocked out of me, that's all. And I'll bitch slap the next person who asks me that question."

"Fair enough," he said, chuckling a little as he put an arm around my shoulders and led me toward our first class.

"By the way, you might want to wipe the lip gloss off the corner of your mouth," I suggested dryly and laughed when his hand flew up to his mouth.

I was not in shock as Edward had claimed. And my near-death experience was not the reason why I didn't pay attention in class. The fact that Edward didn't own up to how he had managed to save me from the Christmas Tree of Death was just one of many small clues that something suspicious was going on with the Cullens. But it was the clue that made me realize that I needed to figure out what it was. I felt like I was missing something obvious, and it was beginning to drive me crazy. The clues were there – I just had to figure out what they meant.

Like how Alice stumbled over the names of her family members. How Edward knew things he wasn't supposed to know. How both he and Alice had ice cold skin and never went out in sunlight. And that was without even touching upon the reindeer, the Christmas lights in October, and the fact that Mr. Cullen repaired toys. Not to mention how both he and his wife looked much too young to have teenage kids.

Later that day, the help for my little conundrum came from where I had least expected it. My dad's friend, Billy, came over for dinner, and he brought his son, Jacob. Jacob Black was a snotty brat who was a few years younger than me, but he acted like he had just gotten out of diapers. He whined like a baby when he didn't get his way, and when he _did_ get his way, everything was left in ruins after he'd terrorized it. I had banned him from the kitchen when he and his dad came over, but that just made him try to set things on fire or break down doors instead.

He camped on the doorstep in protest while I cooked dinner, talking about a video game or something. I wasn't really listening.

"Don't you think?" he asked loudly, startling me from my thoughts while I cut the tomatoes for the salad.

I glared at him over my shoulder. I could have lost a finger. "What?"

"Dude, you're not listening!" he whined.

"I'm also not a dude," I told him, turning back to the cutting board.

"_As I was saying_…don't you think the old Quileute legends would make good video games?" he continued, unbothered. "Can't you just see it? Werewolves and vampires battling it out – body parts flying, and stupid little humans getting caught up in the middle. I mean, the sound effects alone would be out of this world!" He made an impressive and very loud series of noises that were probably meant to prove his point, ending with a drawn-out howl.

"Jake, shut up!" Billy yelled.

I snickered and put the tomatoes into the salad bowl. Then Jacob's words registered fully in my mind. "There are vampires in your legends?"

"Yeah. The legends say that my people descend from wolves, and the cold ones are our natural enemies," he replied and worked on his howling a little more quietly.

"The cold ones?" I questioned.

"Yes, vampires. Fuck's sake, Bella, keep up here!" he complained. "They are called the cold ones in the legends. Since they're not really alive, their skin is cold. Comprende?"

"Don't be a snot, I'm only asking," I huffed. "What else do the legends say about vampires?"

"The wolves are the cool ones," Jacob said, before making a snapping sound with his teeth. _Brat_. "The vampires are just a bunch of bloodsuckers. They might be fast and all that, but they're dead. How fun can you be when you're dead, huh? No going out in the sun, no eating pizza or cheeseburgers or anything. No nothing. Just running around drinking blood. Ugh. Now if you were a werewolf, on the other hand, you'd be cool as hell. If someone pissed you off, you could just literally bite their head off. Snap! And you could still go out in the sun and eat whatever you wanted."

"Where would these vampires live?" I asked.

"What? Aw hell, Bella! They're not real, you know. They're legends – as in…um, old shit that never happened. Comprende?" Jacob shook his head at me, moving reluctantly away from the doorstep when I stabbed my toe into his side.

Putting the food onto the table, I thought about what he had just said about vampires. Was I crazy for thinking that it sounded familiar? I remained deep in thought while we ate dinner. Jacob ate as much as he talked, and Billy told him several times not to talk with his mouth full.

I didn't get much sleep that night. Could the Cullens really be vampires? It would explain a lot, even if Jacob had said that the legends weren't real. When I did sleep, I dreamt about big wolves tearing Edward and Alice apart, but instead of blood, miniature toys oozed from their wounds.

When I got out of bed just after dawn, I was certain of two things. One, Jacob was an idiot, but once in a blue moon, he was a useful idiot. Two, I was going to confront the first Cullen I met that day, because the only thing that made sense in my head was that they were indeed vampires. Okay, maybe _made sense_ was too strong a term for the jumbled mess in my head, but I was certain that there was something off about them. The answer that made the _most_ sense was that they were Christmas-loving, undead bloodsuckers. I sighed as I dug around in my dresser for a pair of socks. I was either friends with a vampire, or I needed therapy - maybe hospitalization.

As fate would have it, I saw Edward the second I turned into the school parking lot. I had hoped I could corner Alice, but it seemed Edward would have to do. Of course, just the thought of accusing the hottest guy I had ever met of being a vampire was enough to make me want to vomit. The hot, maybe-vampire waved at me while I parked, nearly hitting Ben's car because I was so distracted. It was bright turquoise, so I didn't understand how I had missed seeing it.

"Good morning, Bella," Edward greeted me, appearing at my car as I stumbled out, getting caught up in the strap on my book bag.

"Morning," I mumbled, cursing the blush on my face as he had to steady me so I didn't face-plant right in front of him. The embarrassment was almost enough to make me abandon my plans, but when I felt his cold fingers on my arm, my resolve hardened. "Um, can I talk to you about something?"

He looked surprised, but nodded with a smile. "Of course. What's up?"

"Not here," I said and looked around. I walked ahead of him to a patch of trees behind the school. Adventurous couples went there to make out, but it was almost time for class, so no one would be there. Mr. Stephens and his history class would have to wait until I had found out if I needed a straightjacket or some garlic for Christmas.

As the trees closed around us, the silence grew. I could hear my own breath and my heart hammering in my chest. Edward walked silently behind me, but I could sense his presence. That was my crush speaking, though.

I stopped and took a deep breath without turning around. My voice was shaking when I spoke, but I needed to get it out before I lost my courage. "You're impossibly fast. Your skin is pale-white and ice cold. And sometimes you speak like…like you know things without anyone telling you. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the old are you?"

"Eighteen." His voice was deeper and more somber than I had ever heard it. The fact that he hadn't started laughing or something scared me a little.

"How long have you been eighteen?" I asked.

He hesitated slightly. "A while."

"I know what you are," I said bravely, two seconds before it dawned on me that if the Cullens really were vampires, they were probably not going to appreciate me finding out their secret. Shit, what if they killed me or drank my blood or whatever vampires did to people who figured them out? Why the hell had I insisted that we talk away from other people? I was such an idiot, and maybe in a moment I'd be a dead idiot, killed by a vampire because I was too curious for my own good.

"Say it. Out loud," Edward demanded, interrupting my panic. "Say it!"

"Vampire." It was only a whisper, but my throat felt dry as if I had screamed it. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for my life to end.

"What? You think I'm a vampire?" Edward walked around so he was standing in front of me. I slowly opened my eyes. "Seriously?" he asked incredulously.

I shrugged helplessly.

"Um, no. I'm not a vampire," he said and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Oh." Why didn't he laugh it off or accuse me of being the most ridiculous girl he had ever met? I bit my lip and wondered if he was lying to me. "Then what?"

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading. I hope – like _really, really hope_ – that you withstood the silliness overload and are ready for the second and final part tomorrow. :) Until then, leave me some Christmas love. Happy Holidays!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight, I just claim the way I have strung my words together. I also do not own Christmas. I just celebrate it and try to make it fun.

**A/N: **Thanks to **Dinx** for beta'ing, hand-holding, and the inspirational pictures. Thanks to **nowforruin** for beta'ing and responding to the great Title SOS of 2010. Thanks to **Scorp112** for pre-reading parts of this, making suggestions, and calming my nerves when they were the most frazzled. And thanks to **shelikesthesound **for helping me with the title. You ladies are better than Christmas. :) Also, thank you for the reviews! :)

* * *

**A Christmas Theory**

**Part II**

Edward pressed his lips together and looked at me carefully before blurting the last thing I'd ever expected him to say. "I'm Santa Claus."

I felt I deserved some credit for trying, and I really tried hard. I bit my lip and dug my nails into the palms of my hands, but it was in vain. I laughed harder than I'd remembered ever doing before. Even when Mike had been blown off by Alice in the cafeteria I hadn't been gasping for breath like I was now. It wasn't just the fact that he claimed to be Santa Claus, but the whole thing was just too surreal. I had just accused Edward Cullen of being a vampire, and, in turn, he

claimed to be Santa Claus. If Alice had come bouncing in, announcing that she was the Easter Bunny, it would have been complete. Maybe when I graduated high school, I was going to move up in the ranks and become the Tooth Fairy.

"You'd believe that I was a vampire, but not Santa Claus?" Edward asked me when I had calmed down a little. "How is being a jolly man handing out gifts more ridiculous than being a bloodsucking corpse?"

He had a point. "You don't look like Santa Claus," I said.

"But I look like a vampire?" He was looking a little amused now.

Another good point. I didn't actually know what a vampire looked like. I just knew that he didn't look like Santa Claus, and that it almost made sense in my head that he was a vampire. "Um, I don't know…?"

He laughed. "Well, maybe the fact that you were ready to accept that I was a vampire will work to my advantage. I am curious to how you arrived at that conclusion, though."

I sighed and leaned back against a tree. This was not working out the way I had expected. "I know you won't admit it, but the way you saved me from the falling tree? No one is that fast. No human, anyway. Your skin is ice-cold, and I have never seen you eat or drink, even if you did compliment my brownies. And you _know_ things sometimes…it's unnerving."

"And that automatically spells _vampire_ to you?"

"Well, someone down from the Quileute Reservation might have talked about an old legend with werewolves and vampires last night…"

He laughed a little and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not entirely human, Bella, but I am not a vampire. Trust me."

"You're…Santa Claus," I said, trying to make it sound less like a question and more like a statement. I was semi-successful.

Edward nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Oh." I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I had readily thought that he was one mythical creature, so believing that he was another shouldn't have been that difficult…right?

He took off his scarf, folded it up and put it on a fallen log. "Please, sit down and allow me to explain," he said, gesturing with his hands. I sat down. It was a little chilly, but I was too occupied with the need to learn the truth to care.

Edward paced a little in front of me. "I've never actually told anyone this before," he confided in me.

"Then why now? Why me? You could have just laughed at my vampire theory and had me committed to the closed ward."

"I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella," he said softly.

"Then don't," I murmured.

He smiled at me, but continued as if I hadn't spoken. "And you got it right when you said that I know things that I shouldn't know. It's what allows me to know if kids have been good or naughty. The List, you know? It's like a sixth sense I have. I read people. One glance at them, and I know the very essence of their heart and soul. You are nothing but good and honest. Your heart is the most beautiful one I have ever experienced."

I swooned a little before getting concerned. "You know _everything_ about everyone?" That was slightly disturbing.

He chuckled. "No, I don't know any details about why someone is good or bad. I just see their essence."

It was difficult to believe the things Edward told me over the next hour, but I reasoned that since I had been so willing to believe that he was a vampire, then I could at least hear him out. He explained to me how he had taken over the role as Santa Claus after his dad last summer, and that he was nervous about being in charge his first Christmas, which was coming up. Carlisle Cullen had been Santa for centuries and had felt it was time to pass on the torch to his son, now that he was coming of age – and apparently a Santa-to-be came of age when he was around a hundred years old.

"I'm a hundred and nine, before you ask," he said with a smirk. "I go by eighteen out here in the real world because that's what I look like. When you're at the North Pole, you don't actually age. It's not an actual place, you know. It's a magical place that only exists for those who believe, and you can only get there in Santa's sleigh. Because I needed to age, I was sent out to stay with aunts and uncles for periods of time growing up. This time, my parents came along because my dad wanted to experience what he calls _human retirement_, but of course he can't stay away from the toys. It's been a while for both of them since they were out here for longer than just a few days."

He continued to explain that his skin was cold because even though he never really felt it, it was really cold at the North Pole. It took months to thaw out properly. And putting on the red Santa suit on Christmas Eve meant that he would transform from looking like an eighteen year old kid to a big, jolly man with a white beard. The clothes made the Santa, apparently. I couldn't imagine it no matter how hard I tried.

"What about Alice? Is she actually your sister?" I asked.

Edward laughed. "No, she's not my sister. Alice's name is not even Alice. She's a naughty elf by the name of Dinx who hid in a big suitcase when we came here. She's been begging my dad for a chance to go out in the real world for decades, and since we didn't discover her until we got here, we decided to let her stay if she behaved."

"An elf…of course…" I muttered. Then I remembered something. "Did you bring a reindeer, too, by any chance?"

"Yes, how did you know?" he asked curiously.

"I'm pretty sure it led me to your house the first time I went out there," I replied.

He chuckled. "Yeah, once in a blue moon Emmett acts like he's well-behaved. Which he isn't, by the way."

"Your reindeer is called Emmett?" I asked incredulously. Out of everything, that was maybe the hardest thing to comprehend. "But what about Rudolf and Vixen and Dancer…and…"

"Back at the North Pole," Edward replied with a smile. "Emmett is my favorite, even if he is pesky, so I couldn't leave him behind. Besides, if he was left alone for a while, he'd be making too much trouble. He's too undisciplined to be part of the team for the sleigh."

"Speaking of the sleigh, how do you get around the whole world in one night? Does the thing run on jet fuel?"

"No, on magic. And you've already seen that I'm fast. It's a combination of the two," he replied.

"Why do you never go out in the sunlight? And what's with the never eating or drinking anything?" I asked.

"I have sensitive skin from living at the North Pole for so long. In fact, we all do. You rarely see the sun there. That's why we stay out of the sunlight. And the diet there is also different from what you eat here, so we just eat at home."

"Milk and cookies?" I guessed, not entirely sarcastic.

He smirked. "Not solely, but yeah. Brownies are nice, too. Pizza and fries, not so much."

I snorted and covered my mouth with a laugh. Then I shook my head. "This is crazy. I can't believe I accused you of being a vampire, and now you're telling me that you're the new Santa Claus."

"Are you not convinced I'm telling the truth?" he asked.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say.

He smiled. "Come with me, then," he said and held out his hand.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm just going to prove a few things to you," he replied easily.

Before I knew what was happening, he had flung me onto his back and was running through the forest – or maybe he was flying? I had no idea. But it was like that time I had let Jacob talk me into going for a ride on an old dirt bike he had fixed up. He had lost control of it, and we had barreled in between some trees at thirty miles per hour. Only this was faster.

"Edward! What the hell!" I screamed, possibly right into his ear.

A low chuckle that made his chest vibrate was all the answer I got, and I closed my eyes before I became nauseous. Of course, vomiting on him would be nothing more than he deserved for not warning me before taking me on a suicide mission.

Eventually he stopped, and when I opened my eyes, I was face to face with a reindeer. I gasped, and I would have bet my iPod that the animal was laughing at me. I slid down to the ground on wobbly feet, glaring at Edward. "A little warning would have been nice, you know."

He just shrugged and smiled crookedly. "Bella, meet Emmett."

I looked at the large animal carefully. Its fur was light brown and looked really soft. The antlers were huge and pretty impressive – they looked like a giant crown. It also still looked like it was grinning. "Hello, Emmett," I greeted it. I looked at Edward. "Can I pet him?"

Emmett the Reindeer quickly shuffled closer to me. I squeaked and jumped back, and Edward just laughed. "There's your answer," he said. "He'll be your friend for life if you scratch him behind the ears."

I had never been an animal person. I was scared of dogs, and my only pet had been a gold fish when I was ten years old. It died because I overfed it, claiming it looked hungry all the time. Rose had not been impressed with me. Emmett looked friendly enough, though. I slowly reached out, patting him softly on the head. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

I giggled. "Aaww, you're a cute one, Emmett."

"Okay, stop hogging the girl, Em," Edward said. "Come on, Bella. I have one more thing to show you."

"You're not doing a grab-'n-run again, are you? I'd rather get a lift from Emmett or something. I bet that's more comfortable."

Emmett promptly kneeled down, offering me a ride. Edward swatted him. "Yeah, you're a real comedian. Now get lost." He grabbed my hand and led me through the trees. I turned around and waved at Emmett. I swore he looked all sullen now.

"Where are we going? Couldn't Emmett come with us? He looks so heart-broken."

"He's a good actor," Edward said with a smirk. "I want to show you the sleigh."

"Edward, there's no snow-…" I hesitated. "Oh, _the_ sleigh. Really?" I asked excitedly. "So, how does it fly when all the other reindeer are at the North Pole?"

"Since they are magic reindeer pulling a magic sleigh, one reindeer is enough," Edward replied. "We just like to go all out for Christmas. My dad usually took Dancer with him whenever he was coming down here for occasions other than Christmas, but I've kind of grown up with Emmett, so he's my favorite. Plus, as I told you, he'd just make trouble if he was left home alone."

We had made it to the Cullen house. Apparently Edward had covered quite the distance while I had kept my eyes closed. Now the elaborate Christmas decorations and all the lights made a lot more sense than the first time I had seen them, both because it was December, and because I now knew exactly who lived in the house. Edward led me to the garage and pulled out a key to unlock the door.

"This is the moment of truth," he told me before opening the door. "If you don't believe, you won't be able to see the sleigh. It's magic, remember?"

I wasn't worried. Edward had convinced me – I believed him. And believing him meant believing _in_ him. Believing in Santa Claus. I almost giggled. I never thought I would say that again.

Leading me into the garage, Edward turned on the lights and went ahead of me to pull off a big, red cloth covering. I gasped. The sleigh! It was dark green with intricate carvings that wished anyone who saw it a merry Christmas. It was polished so it sparkled, and looked as if it was ready for use. Garlands of holly with small, yellow lights were wrapped around the edges. The seats were covered in red velvet, promising a comfortable ride. I stared at it in awe. It was the holy grail of everything magical about Christmas.

"I just want to try something," Edward said, taking my hand and stepping into the sleigh. "Come on."

I followed him into the sleigh and sat down next to him on the seat. It was like being a part of a fairytale. He instantly pulled me into his lap, and when I looked into his eyes, the intensity there took my breath away.

"So Santa fell in love with the girl," Edward said softly. His cold hand was cupping my cheek, and I was _so_ sure that he was going to kiss me.

"What a lucky girl."

"What a blessed Santa," he countered and leaned in to touch his lips against mine. They were cold, but he still set my whole body on fire. I was the one who deepened the kiss, but my Santa caught on quickly.

I wanted to squeal. I was not only making out with the hottest and sweetest guy I had ever met, the same hot guy who I had fallen in love with, and who had just confessed that he felt the same for me – I was also making out with Santa in his sleigh! This was the stuff dreams were made of.

~ ~ ~ ACT ~ ~ ~

I woke up the next morning to the sound of _Santa Baby_ coming from my cell phone. It was a message from Edward, although I didn't know how or when sneaky Santa had changed the tone settings. The message told me that he was picking me up for school.

I replied that I'd be ready out front, and leaned back in my pillows with a happy sigh. About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was Santa Claus. Second, there was a part of me, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that was incredibly excited about being able to believe in Santa again. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

"A certain little elf was so excited that you knew the truth that she immediately blurted it to Jasper, too," Edward told me when he opened the car door for me an hour later. He had greeted me with a cold morning kiss, and ironically enough, it had almost made me melt.

I giggled. "And now Mr. Science is calculating how many thousandths of a second you have to deliver each gift?" I guessed.

Edward nodded. "Something like that."

School was surprisingly bearable when I had Edward walking me to and from each class. At lunch, we laughed at Jasper, who _was_ trying to calculate how Santa Claus had time to deliver gifts to children all over the world in only one night. Rosalie, Angela, and Ben were not in on the big secret, but they didn't need to be in order to think that Jasper was wasting his time.

After school let out, Edward and I went back out in the forest surrounding his house. I had had a full night to mull things over, and had come up with a lot of questions I hadn't thought to ask the day before. Questions like, _Did one become immortal if they stayed at the North Pole forever, and how many elves lived up there._

"Yes and three hundred and fourteen," Edward replied with a chuckle when I launched my first two questions at him. Then he kissed me, and I forgot all about the rest of my questions. He pressed me against a tree, effectively making me forget about everything but the feel of his lips and tongue against mine and the way his body felt pressing mine into the tree. Nothing appeared to be out of order with Santa's _equipment_. I could feel him through our clothes, and I almost turned to liquid when one of his legs found its way between mine and an adventurous hand found my breast. I moaned, and through a haze of lust I heard it almost echoing from who I assumed was Edward. Except…

I broke away from Edward and looked for the source of the sound. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I'd hoped I was wrong because that would be a bit too embarrassing…even if he was a reindeer.

I blushed. "Hello, Emmett," I said weakly.

He sounded like he snickered. And then the strangest thing came out of his mouth. I turned to Edward. "Did he…did he just say…cowabunga?"

Edward ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Some of the elves were bored one day, and somehow they taught him to say it."

I giggled and turned back to Emmett. "Can you say anything else?"

The strangled noise that sounded eerily like _cowabunga_ came again. "Okay, I guess not. But on the bright side, that's one word more than you're supposed to be able to say. You might be the brightest reindeer ever!"

Edward groaned. "Please don't feed his ego. It's already bigger than his antlers."

I giggled and patted Emmett. "Don't listen to him," I whispered.

"Oh my God, Bella – you found it!" I whipped around at the sound of Rosalie's voice, and I saw her come trudging through the brush. "Oh wow, is it tame? It's so cute!"

I was quickly forgotten as Rosalie's attention was apparently more interesting than mine. I didn't know a reindeer could be charming, but Emmett pulled it off.

I walked back to Edward. "How are we going to explain a tame reindeer? Rose isn't going to let it go; she'll be calling every zoo in the state to find out if anyone's missing him."

"Can she be trusted?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "I've known her my entire life, and I've never known her to break someone's trust or spill a secret."

"Does she believe in Santa Claus?" he asked, winking at me.

After I was done melting over the wink, I laughed. "She's more likely to believe in Rudolf than Santa."

But after Edward told her who he was – assisted by a lot of nodding from me and Emmett, she did believe in Santa Claus. I had been right, though. Even if Emmett was not Rudolf, she was much more fascinated by the flying reindeer than Santa.

Edward excused himself for a moment, saying he needed to pick something up back at the house. I watched Rosalie tell an enthralled Emmett about how much cooler than regular reindeer he was, and within minutes, Edward was back.

He stalked right over to Emmett and waved an empty candy box. "Emmett! I thought I told you to stay away from the candy in the sleigh! It's not yours! I don't even understand how you got into the garage – wait, what am I saying? Of course I know. That pesky, little elf!"

"Stop yelling at him!" Rosalie defended Emmett and patted his head reassuringly. "So what if he ate a little candy? I don't care if you are Santa Claus. I can still report you for animal cruelty!"

"He ate the candy I got for Bella after I specifically told him not to!" Edward argued. "How is me being angry about that cruelty?"

"It just is!" Rosalie stated and turned to Emmett. "Aaww, my poor little reindeer being yelled at by the stupid Santa. I'll buy you your own candy tomorrow. What's your favorite? I bet it's chocolate. Or maybe gummy bears?"

I tried to keep the giggles at bay and pulled Edward away from the reindeer and the bad influence. "Ignore them. And thank you for wanting to give me candy. It's so sweet of you, but there's actually something I want even more than candy."

"Oh yeah? What's that? I'll give you anything, Bella," Edward said and wrapped his arms around me.

"To get back to what we were doing before Emmett interrupted," I said with a grin. "So why don't we find someplace where there are no interrupting reindeer and no accusing best friends?"

"On it," he said and picked me up. I was screaming before he even started running. I really should have been more specific and said that we should _walk_ someplace where there were no interrupting reindeer and no accusing best friends.

~ ~ ~ ACT ~ ~ ~

December was magical like never before. At times I still pinched myself when I thought about everything that had happened lately. I was dating Santa Claus. And then I pinched myself again. I was dating Edward Cullen. And he was the sweetest, most attentive guy I had ever met. A real gentleman, except when we made out in the sleigh…or his car…or in my room when my dad was at work and on his dates. Then Edward was every bit the teenage boy he looked.

Edward had asked me to the Christmas dance. I wasn't really a big fan of school functions, but I'd accepted. It was one of the last days he'd be in town before going back to the North Pole to prepare for his busy Christmas night. I had asked about the presents. How did they all fit in the bag and in the sleigh, and how did he know what to get for everyone? Magic, was his answer, of course.

So I went to the school dance, not wanting to miss out on a second of the time Edward had left in Forks before Christmas. He had promised to come back and spend the remainder of the school year in Forks, but after that he had to return to the North Pole. He said that he couldn't afford to age too much at once.

"Bella, please consider coming back with me next summer?" he'd asked me one day. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I love you, and I can't bear the thought of being without you. I'll do everything in my power to make you happy, I promise."

I hadn't answered him yet. He had insisted that I think about it, and I was grateful for the time. It was a major decision.

The night of the dance, Edward picked me up, enduring my dad's _if-you-hurt-my-daughter-I'll-hang-your-balls-on-my-Christmas-tree _talk that kind of got watered down when he rushed out to go on his own date. He looked good enough to eat. Edward, that was, not my dad. Ugh. My dad's velvet suit from the seventies was highly embarrassing – just as embarrassing as the red jumpsuit Edward's dad wore the day I met him at his toy repair shop in town. I believed Edward when he said that his dad was having some difficulties adjusting to his new non-Santa life. I just wished my dad had an excuse, too.

Alice – I could not get used to calling her anything else – had been granted her great wish, and was at the dance with Jasper. She was wearing a dress that looked like the one she had been wearing the day I'd met her, only this one was red. The multi-colored knee-high socks were in place, too, and Jasper could barely drag his eyes away from her legs.

Angela and Ben were around somewhere, but Rosalie had stopped attending school dances after the previous year's Christmas dance where Lauren Mallory had shown up wearing a fur coat. Rosalie had lost it, and while the principal didn't exactly ban her, she swore off the dances herself. She was spending the evening out at the Cullens' with her new best friend. I had been replaced by a reindeer.

Edward and I slow-danced to "The Christmas Song" and rocked it out to "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." Naturally, Edward knew every word to every Christmas song played.

"Hey, wanna leave early?" Edward asked me, the promise of something better than a school dance twinkling in his eye.

I nodded with a big smile.

We waved goodbye to Alice and Jasper, who had disappeared into the unlocked janitor's closet at the same time as Edward and I left. I was starting to feel bad for the janitor. If he needed something in his closet at the wrong time…well, who knew what he'd witness.

I didn't ask where Edward was taking me. My curfew was still hours away, and I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with my Santa. It started snowing a little while we drove. It was pretty rare we got snow in Forks, but I had stopped questioning the Christmas magic this year. Of course there would be snow when I had Santa by my side. Anything else would be wrong.

We were headed toward the Cullen house, but instead of going the whole way down the lane, Edward stopped halfway, just where it split. He parked and exited the car. Seconds later he was opening my door and helping me out. He sent me a crooked smile and took my hand, leading me down the lane to the right.

It was dark, but the moon reflecting in the snow that was starting to cover the ground lit the night up. It was so beautiful and silent.

"Cowabunga!"

I giggled. Okay, not so quiet. But it was still beautiful. And the feel of Edward's hand encasing mine gave me butterflies.

"I have a surprise for you," Edward said with a smile. "How would you like a ride in Santa's sleigh?"

"Oh my God. Really? Like…flying?"

He grinned. "Well, I thought we'd start out with a normal sleigh ride, but maybe…"

I launched myself at him, hugging him and kissing his jaw while he laughed. Then I heard a giggle and another _cowabunga_. Looking up, I saw the sleigh a few feet ahead in its entire splendor. The little lights on the holly garlands were shining, and strings of bells had been added. In front of the sleigh was Emmett, and next to him stood Rosalie, waving. He had a saddle strapped on, and I guessed that was for Rosalie.

I sat under a warm blanket on Edward's lap in the sleigh. He had the reins in one hand and the other one around my waist. The bells jingled softly as Emmett trudged down the lane, and I had never been more content in my life. I turned my head and waited for Edward to do the same. It wasn't like he needed to steer Emmett – there was only one way to go, and that was forward. My favorite, bright reindeer could handle that, and if he failed, Rosalie could pull his antlers or something. I needed Santa kisses.

Edward looked at me and grinned as if he had read my mind. His lips were as cold as ever, but his kisses ignited a fire inside of me that would keep us both warm – even at the North Pole. I had made up my mind. There was no way I was letting my Santa go.

"Do you realize that I haven't heard you say _ho ho ho _yet?" I asked. My mitten-clad hands were cupping his cheeks and our noses were almost touching.

"Yeah, I don't actually say that, you know? I try to get around undetected, so the last thing I want is calling attention to myself by sounding like a cliché," he said and stole another kiss. Okay, maybe not stole since I let him, but still. Now was not kissing time, now was "ho ho ho" time.

"You're bursting my illusions," I told him. "You're Santa Claus – you have to say _ho ho ho_."

"Says who?"

"Says me! Won't you even say it for me? You know, the girl who is leaving the world as she knows it behind, and following you to the North Pole after graduation?"

His smile widened impossibly, and the kiss that followed the smile was unlike any kiss we had ever shared before. It could have probably melted the whole damn North Pole. "Really?" he asked.

"Only if you _ho ho ho_," I said with a shrug, unable to hide my smile.

The ho ho ho that echoed through the forest was heartfelt and sounded _exactly_ like I had imagined it would sound. Only I never thought a _cowabunga_ would follow it.

* * *

**Merry Christmas!**

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)


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